Posted by: reformedmusings | June 1, 2012

Patient Zero – Has the zombie apocalypse begun?

McArthur High School in Hollywood, Florida saw an unexplained rash breakout in May. Just a week later nearby at Lauderdale Lakes Middle School saw a similar breakout.  A possible early mutation that would find fruition soon thereafter?

A Florida anaesthesiologist, Dr. Zachary Bird, apparently turned at a traffic stop, banged his head relentlessly in the police car and spit blood at them:

Dr. Zombie in Florida

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, the story of the Miami zombie has to be at the forefront of your news world. Zombie Rudy Eugene attacked and ate 75% of Ronald Poppo’s face before a police officer killed Eugene with multiple shots after a  single shot didn’t even phase the zombie:

Zombie before conversion on left, victim on the right

Do you doubt the zombie angle? Consider this:

Providentially, Florida has reacted quickly with appropriate measures:

An that’s not the half of it. In Maryland, Alexander Kinyua turned zombie and ate his roommate’s heart and brain:

Zombie on left, victim on right

The Canadian zombie, Luka Magnotta, a former homosexual, low-budget porn star, eliminated his homosexual lover, eating some of him and mailed a few parts around:

Canadian homosexual zombie before

Incidents are multiplying rapidly. Wayne Carter in New Jersey used a knife to disembowel himself and throw pieces of his intestines at the police, apparently as he was being converted. In California, a zombie ate a relative’s nose.

Nor is that the end of the story. Another apparent mutation can be found in flesh-eating bacteria. First was the Georgia student that was tragically infected after a zip-line accident. Then up to five more cases arose in Georgia. Now we have an incident in Georgia where a zombie, Christopher Newman, bit two employees at a Lowe’s store. Coincidence? I think not.

One can only wonder if all this started with the accident at a biotech lab last year:

These are indeed troublesome times. Fortunately, there’s a zombie incident map that covers more incidents than I’ve listed in this post. Plan your summer vacation accordingly. Forewarned is forearmed.

I close with the ultimate proof that the zombie apocalypse has begun. The government is already denying the problem.

That’s how it starts. Seemingly unrelated incidents, government denials, and pretty soon you have Raccoon City, then full-fledged Zombieland:

And dude, learn the rules. Be prepared. You cannot say that you weren’t warned.

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